Dear Enterprise, please don’t ever pick me up again.

Just a little story for everyone. Today was ridonkulous. The check engine light in my beloved car came on and I have been absolutely dreading taking it into the shop to get fixed. My car is literally our living room on wheels. I keep it perfectly stocked (snacks, diapers, strollers, exercise bands, swimmies, extra clothes) and could probably live in it for at least 3 days. Comfortably. Anyway, because our entire lives are located in that car, it’s no fun trying to go without it. I know, waa waa, poor me.

So, this morning I headed up to the dealership (no, we’re not stupid, it’s just still under warranty), entirely thinking I’d drop it off and head home immediately. Well, two whole hours of wrangling Brooks in the waiting room later, I started to raise a little h-e-double hockey sticks. I think I said something like, “If I stay here a minute longer I will go into convulsions and die. Get me out of here or I’ll mail you anthrax.” Somehow, amazingly, this worked. I was informed that Enterprise would be arriving any minute to take me to get my loaner car. True to their word, Enterprize (I’ve decided this ghetto branch surely spells theirs with a z) showed up. Eventually. In a car with one seatbelt. I obviously gave it to B and after wrestling the car seat in the hot sun for 10 minutes, while flashing the driver with my coin slot, we set off.

Three and a half hours into our ordeal, we arrived at Enterprize. And hold on friends, cause here’s where things get shocking. They had NO cars. Well, believe you me, things got a little crazy. Brooks went nuts. I swear, he has this pterodactyl shriek he saves for the absolute most inconvenient times (long lines at the library, church, funerals…). He let it rip and started slapping me. I started crying. I stormed the desk, saying, “how dare you “pick me up” and bring me to this place and not even mention that you don’t have any cars!! Please, give me something. If it has a seatbelt, I’ll drive it. It can be missing doors for all I care.” Well, the manager managed to produce a car. It even had doors. But guess what it didn’t have…. yeah, seatbelts. Not kidding. Actually, I bitterly asked him if he was kidding. He said he had no idea where they went. For a minute I considered taking the car anyway and putting a brick in B’s lap.

Well, finally Enterprize was able to produce a car with seatbelts and we made it home. On a more positive note, we scored B an amazing $30 train table. The woman selling it couldn’t have realized how hot these train tables are. Within minutes of posting it on Craig’s List she had 6 people wanting it. But I was first!

Later we sat down to talk about what our Community Group means to us on camera for a promotional film for our church. We were totally early days Gosselin, sitting on our squishy couch in front of the camera. Minus some bad highlights and a heck of a lot of Ed Hardy. But, community group. Love it. If you’re reading this and live in Charleston, thou shalt attend Link Nite, September 13th at 5:30. Make the time.

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3 Comments

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3 responses to “Dear Enterprise, please don’t ever pick me up again.

  1. Gunk

    Dear Hillary,

    Forgive me because I’m new at this blog thing. But, I was wondering…what’s a “coin slot”?

    Love,

    Gunk

  2. hillarybg

    Oh geez, dad. I think you’ll need to go to http://www.urbandictionary.com for that answer. Remember, I told you about that site when you asked me what “my bad” meant? Go ahead and bookmark it on your desktop.
    Good job commenting though!

  3. Yea, I didn’t know what coin slot was either, but I thought about it for a minute and then I figured it out. I’m gonna start keeping quarters handy though, hillary:)

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