Menswear, you really can’t pull it off.

One of my favorite things about coming up to school is the J. Crew factory store nearby. I say store, but it’s more like a daily yard sale set up in front of their factory. Anyhoo. Here’s what happened the last time I made my pilgrimage to this sacred mecca. I had recently been reading in my US Weekly how absolutely cool and effortless it is to “borrow” clothes from your boyfriend. These girls looked so cool in their rolled up shirt dresses and cuffed jeans, posing in corn fields and standing barefoot in their kitchens, all, “Oh, I just woke up and found this on the floor”.  After a split second inventory of my husband’s closet, I realized this look would not be as effortless as suggested . Maybe boyfriend closets look different than husband closets. I would certainly have to manufacture the results I was looking for. Armed with this new knowledge, I trotted into J. Crew hoping to find something manly. I did.

Cute, huh? Talking about the vest here.

I excitedly paid for my snappy new vest, picturing how life changing it would be. I would wear it with absolutely everything and it would be so easy!

Here are some pics of vests gone right: how-to-wear-a-menswear-vest This is not how I looked. I will not post a picture of how I looked. Suffice it to say, no pictures will ever be taken of me in my vest. I tried it on it’s own, I tried it with feminine accessories and, bless the children, I looked like an idiot. Turns out well equipped women are NOT meant to borrow from their “boyfriend’s” closet, or worse yet, intentionally buy men’s wear to look cool.

Oh well, what’s a girl to do? From now on, I know to stay on the lady’s side of the store, the way nature intended. Except…maybe, just maybe, I can pull off “boyfriend jeans”. Those would surely be life changing.


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One response to “Menswear, you really can’t pull it off.

  1. well, i look at Alex’s clothes and I find polo shirts and paint stained shorts and khakis. Not too flattering for this 3x mommy tummy lady. Anyways, at least you tried! I think they need more advertising for post baby clothing, like how to hide the belly and accentuate the chest. You know, the important things 🙂

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