This week, Brooks and I are in Virginia so I can take another class at school. This time, I’m learning all you ever wanted to know about Philosophy in a one week period (what is truth? what is reality? Uuurrggghhh!). Anyway, this meant another road trip for Brooks and I; let me tell you, baby we were born to road trip. Some may say that traveling with a toddler is risky business, especially with no help, but we’ve got it down to a science.
Sunday morning, bright and early (8:30) we strapped in and revved the engine. With the Wiggles wiggling across the portable DVD player, telling B to “Do the monkey, the monkey, monkey” we set off. We tore down the open road and made it all the way to…Starbucks, 10 minutes from our house.
-“Sorry buddy, Mama needs a hot chai tea bag with a shot of espresso, little skim milk and one splenda.”
Hot drink in hand we set out, the Wiggles now telling Brooks that Crunchy Munch Honey Cakes are fun to eat AND fun to make. This time we made it all the way to…well, I’m not entirely sure where we were. The middle of nowhere and I needed a bathroom.
-“Sorry buddy, Mama had a hot chai tea bag with a shot of espresso, little skim milk and one splenda and I need to go PEE! NOW!”
Brooks thought this was hysterical and chanted the whole way into the bathroom, “Pee Pee, Potty, Put Put”. We’re raising such a potty mouth.
After a successful pit stop, we set out AGAIN, the Wiggles finally ending. This left us to pass the time in ways Brooks’ father would surely not approve of. With the ipod set to random shuffle, we perfected our dance moves. The only thing my son inherited from me is my taste in music and my love of dancing to it. As I belted out the lyrics to Mama Mia and Rent, that child shook his jazz hands like a regular Bette Midler. He raised the roof because, we, most assuredly, ain’t no hollaback girls. Alternating shoulder rolls were perfect because, believe you me, our milkshakes are better than yours. Just when our coolness level threatened to blow right out the open window, we threw in a fist pump to the Stones and Hank Jr.
Yes, the trip was flying by. Just as I was showing my son some top notch Thriller moves, we came upon this billboard (the one on the left):
Seriously. Is that necessary? The actual billboard we came upon was not connected to the one about fetal alcohol syndrome, but still a little heavy even when alone.
Needless to say, my hands went immediately to 10 and 2.
***All kidding aside, before anyone reading this gets worried (mainly my Mom), I am a very safe driver. I am able to maintain complete focus and take all necessary precautions, no matter what song comes up on the ipod.
The rest of the trip was a blur of animal crackers, passing sippy cups, juggling a 30 pound toddler in tiny restroom stalls and more Wiggles (the 36 minute video was played 9 times).
We arrived in VA in time for Brooks to play with his cousins, eat a quick dinner and fall, exhausted, into our comfy beds.